Friday, 7 October 2011

Juice fast & liver flush....

We are now head lice free!! The alternative treatment worked!
Today Im starting a 10 day juice fast.
I want to give my body a full on deep cleanse and then get on to eating a 100% raw food diet as from all Ive been reading I believe its the most healing way to eat. And the time I spent at the raw food retreat was when I felt best health wise. I have been meeting all kind of therapists that swear by that their "treatment" and their "diet" is the only one that heals cancer. Its hard to know who to believe. So once again I choose to listen to my body and my instincts.
Something Ive been noticing, especially here in spain is that none of the therapists look the health they preach. I have hard to take someones health advice when they look like they need a 2 year detox themselves. At a health store here in Denia I was lectured by the salesman about all I should doing to heal and prevent disease. A week later I see him in a cafe eating two fried eggs with french fries. All the Raw food people I have meet look healthy, energetic and happy. Thats what I wanna be!
I have also stopped taking coleys as I was getting quite low and depressed the days of injection. Was having lots of arguments with Richard and my father. I feel much better now. I have found another Immune booster that is supposedly amazing. Its a supplement from the japaneese mushroom coriolus versicolor, also known as Yun zhi. Inforce Immune builder. My colon therapist swears by them so I thought Id give them a try. They told us about this mushroom at the hospital in mexico and Ive heard from a few others aswell about the benefits of this plant. First day of taking them I already noticed increased energy. Only been on them for a few days, ill update in a week or two how they effect me.

I had my first liver flush yesterday.                                                                                                                                                                                                                               This is a procedure to detoxify or drive "harmful chemicals and germs" out of the liver and gallbladder.
For maximum effect one should eat a healthy vegetarian diet 3-4 weeks prior to the cleanse day. Drink fresh apple juice every couple of hours 2-3 days before. On the day one shall avoid eating any oils with your meals. Early evening have 2 teaspoons of epsom salt and just before bedtime drink a glass of olive oil mixed with fresh grapefruit juice. Next morning your poop will most likely be full of stone looking things as you can see in the picture. I had about 20 big ones come out and a whole lot of small.

Sunday, 2 October 2011

Head lice family....

The fricking little horrid looking animals have made their way to our heads and laid tons of eggs. The joys of having kids in daycare/school.
This is my first adult experience with lice and Im not the slightest amused by them. Please let me know their purpose, anyone?
Thursday we were told Pella had them. We'd been scratching for weeks. Me thinking it had something to do with my treatment. And that Pellas was just from the heat. At one point I in fear believed this was a symptom of brain cancer. Every single pain or scratch or anything I relate to cancer. A small flu and Im telling Richard my goodbyes. Not dramatic at all. So I was in some ways happy to hear it was lice. Although after these last few days Im not sure which will be easier to eliminate. We've been picking eggs for 3 days now.
We are trying an alternative way of treating them with tee tree oil and almond oil. 6 drops of tea tree oil in a cup of almond oil. Massage into hair and leave over night. We found some lovely shower caps to cover with. Wash out next day and come thoroughly with lice comb.
After 3 days were pretty much lice free. An odd egg here an there to catch the following day.

Monday, 26 September 2011

Royal flush.....

I had my first proper colon cleanse the other day. 150 liters of water flushing out my colon for 1 hour. Bit awkward as the therapist sits and views your poop through a glass tube discussing what she sees.
-Some green leafs just passed by, tomatoes. Oh! here comes a good old bit. So how are you enjoying spain?
Poop talk mixed with small talk.
One hour later, light and cleansed. And full of information how to keep a healthy colon and where to find the best beaches in the area.
A bit pricey but super investment for your health.
Ill be doing one a week for a months time along with my daily enemas.
So by november there should be no old stuff hanging around my colon. All fresh & clean!

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Why me???.......

.....probably the most over thought question amongst us cancer patients. Ive had many of those days trying to figure out the answer. Now after all this new research and info Ive been collecting these last months I don't only understand Im now also surprised that my destructive living didn't get to all my inner organs.
Looking back at the years Ive done pretty much everything to weaken my immune system.
Ive put together a little list of things that might have got those cells to turn on me:

*Smoker for 12 years

*Alcoholconsumer for 16 years

*Heavy alcohol consumer (more than 1 bottle wine/night) 7 years

*Light drug consumer (exstacy, cocaine and other substances that I don't remember their names) 7 years

*Antibiotics at least once a year

*Bulimic for 10 years

*Passion for fast food and fatty foods for 15 years

*Constant user of cosmetics, perfumes and body products containing harmful toxins for 16 years

*Use of synthetic clothes containing harmful toxins for 20 years

*Use of cleaning products containing harmful toxins 20 years

*Addicted to kit kat & snickers bars for 6 years

*Heavy consumer of white sugar and white flour products 15 years

Etc, etc, etc.............................................................................................

Understanding this makes me more certain that I am now healing with the treatment I am doing.
Eliminating all the toxins and boosting up the immune system seems to me to be the most logical way to go.

I spoke to my conventional doctor the other day whom I spoke to last in may.
He asked me about how the alternative treatment in mexico had been.
I told him about my amazing results in loss of annoying symptoms and how good Ive been feeling etc....
As if he hadn't heard a word of what I said he immediately started talking about a medicine he wanted me to start taking ASAP. I explained I have no interest and I want my pet scan for december to see my results from this treatment. You have to be a tough cookie to go against the conventional doctors couse they have no interest in the alternative and they try everything to get you back in to the hospital. I almost ended up arguing with him as it was like talking to a wall.
But I won!! Got my scan, on the waiting list. So in 2-3 months I'll see the results!

Saturday, 10 September 2011

My pharmacy....

My pharmacy!!! 
Beautiful fields full of organic produce. .

Fully stocked fridge. Will last me about 2-3 days.

                   Hippocrates soup          Todays lunch: Guacamole salad

Our beach.

My Princess!

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Kris Carr.....

Kris Carr, my new cancer idol!
A true inspiration to all young people that you can still be crazy, fun and happy with cancer.
She chose the green way, juices, vegan diet, smoothies etc... She was diagnosed 10 years ago and is still going strong. In the video she shows how to make one of her morning green juices.
Im in spain now continuing my treatment here in the sunshine.
Spent 3 weeks in stockholm before coming here. Summer was coming to an end in sweden.
Felt a strong need to continue my healing by the ocean air and to have constant sunshine. If theres something Ive learned these months its to listen to my body. So now Im in Denia, spain, at my fathers place.
Got Pella with me, she's at spanish kindergarden in the daytime. That will toughen her up for sure:) All those little macho spanish boys:)
Im still on the coleys. Had a massive coleys reaction in sweden. Really wiped me out! 20 minutes after the injection I started having heavy shakes. Then came a massive vomit poop feast! And didn't make it all the times to the bathroom. Sorry for the details but sharing is caring! My superstar boyfriend by my side every minute and cleaning up the mess with no complaints. I thought he'd seen the worse of me when I was giving birth, but I think this incident tops that one by far.
Anyways, got in the bath and the shakes calmed down immediately. Fever reached 40°c. Felt incredibly weak and was totally out of it all day. Lost 3 kg in one day. Was very scary. Took a week to recover and slowly gain some weight. A few days after the injection I noticed all the rasping in my breathing had cleared. This is something that has been fricking annoying me for months, so wow!, amazing!
My other injections have been much calmer with fevers of 38°c, tiredness and headaches.
Im doing the coleys 3 times a week have the weekends off.
Have my daily juices bout 1liter green and 1 liter carrot. Managing to do 4 enemas a day.
The diet hasn't been as raw as I wished it to be.  Ive been naughty here and there and had a few bites of Richards food when we've been to restaurants. But except for a few little bites and nibbles Ive been on the vegan Gerson diet. Have daily yoga and meditation. Also been having Eft sessions (emotional freedom technique). Has helped a lot with a lot with dealing with my cancer anxiety. Ive had emotional breakdowns along the ride but all in all Im keeping positive and have all the believe that Im gonna get through this and heal!
Happy sunshine greetings to you all!

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Adios cabo.....

Pella here we come!!!!!!!
We have now reached our last morning. In a few hours were off to the airport.
Just had my morning enema. Have a days break now from them as Im not planning on doing them on the airplane.
Its been a beautiful holiday and hasnt been to hard keeping up the treatment in a hotel.
It's given us good ideas for a Gerson bed & breakfast.
Our precious angel will be awaiting us at the airport with her super morfar! Can't wait!!!

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Sunset cruise....

Yesterday we paid our touristic respects and went on a catamaran sunset cruise with a bunch of other happy holidayers. Beautiful views of lovers beach and the famous arch that is formed by the rocks. I've found a good routine now with my diet on the holiday. When we leave the hotel I bring my smoothie in my to go termos that keeps it cool for hours. Not really the same as enjoying a freshly made margharita but it works.

 Richard got to enjoy a beer though at the famous "Senor froggs".
A lovely waitress came by and offered him a shot of tequila out of her bosom.
Which he declined. Were old farts now! We go on holidays drink carrot juice and go to bed at ten. 

Five more days of mexican sunshine. Its wonderful out here but I must say Im looking forward to coming home and getting all set up at our home environment with juicers, blenders, coleys and finding good organic produce. Im so ready to give this cancer a full on kick in the ass. And I'm also sooooo ready to see my little angel girl. Have missed her like crazy!!!!

 I've had 2 coley shots here in Cabo, monday and tuesday. Monday didnt get a fever or any symptoms. Tuesday I reached a 39°c fever. Good thing is that it doesn't effect the next coming day. I wake up and feel perfectly fine. 

Have had lovely mails from almost all Gerson friends I made at Chipsa. Feels so good to be connected with people that our going through the same thing. People to share embarrassing enema stories with. People who aint doing them usually find it quit disgusting to talk about. Also nice to share the excitement of high fevers and heavy symptoms. 
We also all share the same will to fight this disease and everyone I met there has been so positive. Really inspiring to be in a group of people that all believe it is possible to heal the way we have chosen to. 

Dave and Denise, the first couple we met sent me a real good quote by Muhammed Ali:

 "I use to hate every part of my training. But I knew if I suffered through it now, I would live in glory the rest of my life." 

A bit like what were doing with our treatment.
I'm sure we'll all live in glory for many years to come.

Monday, 25 July 2011

Cabo San Lucas.....

Oh my god!!! We are in paradise! Amazing beaches and SUNSHINE!! Feels so nice to be out of the hospital. A bit scary as now were on our own with 3 different kinds of shots to be taken every week and all the juicing to be taken care of. We bought a juicer from Jack Le lanne in San Diego that we are travelling with. Installed a juicing station in the bathroom next to the sink. I spoke to the manager as we got here about my special diet and they will prepare green smoothies for me 3 times a day. So I feel at ease now with the diet for our holiday here.  Were staying at the Sheraton hacienda del mar. Amazing hotel with direct access to the beach. 10 days here and then back to stockholm. Ill be continuing the coleys shots 2-3 times a week. I will also continue doing 5 enemas a day. As for the diet I will be doing mostly raw food but will also use a few things from Gerson.
When I get back I will book to do a pet scan in 4 months time to see the progress of healing.
I feel great. I definitely have less pain than when I started the treatment. My main symptoms are: Pain in between the shoulder blades, pain in lower back area, rasp when breathing, coughing, weak voice. The back pains are due to the cancer in the skeleton. The lower back area is painless  now and between the shoulder blades is half the pain from when I started. Coughing is better hardly nothing these days. The rasp when breathing is unfortunately caused by fibrosis from the radio therapy so that will remain. Although It eased up when I was on 100% raw food. My voice is still weak. The doctors are not sure if it is caused by fibrosis or if it's cancer. I'm hoping its cancer as then It can be healed.
Were getting plenty of healing sunshine and lush sea water.
Yesterday we went in to town and took a taxi boat to lovers beach. So beautiful. We got there really early and apart from another couple we were the only ones out there.
I came here 7 years ago when working on the cruise ship. A bit of a different experience. Then it was lovers beach with the crew a few beers and then off to the beach by the city for margarithas and dancing on the beach with drunk happy spring breakers from the US. Carrot juice wasn't really part of my menu back then.
Today Im gonna do a coleys shot here at the hotel. Richard, who is now my personal nurse will be injecting all my shots. He is so supporting through all this. He makes all my juices, sets alarms so I know when to take my supplements, fetches anything I need when I got the fevers, has patience through my bumpy emotional rides etc.. Hes an angel! Im also blessed with a very supporting family. My father and brother have also been 100% supportive and positive from day one.
To have positive people around helps big times.
Met some lovely people at Chipsa who gave alot of inspiration and hope. Two who will be very missed are Claire and her mother Steph. We miss you!
Here are some pics from san diego, chipsa and Cabo:
Beautiful organic supermarket in San diego...

Green juice and salad lunch in San diego..

Richard Shelter Island San Diego...

Green Juice To Go Jug....
                                                         Our room at chipsa with ocean view...

Lovely Claire...

Lovely Claires mother Steph on the sun terass at chipsa...

Breakfast view from our hotel in Cabo...

Juicing station at the hotel....

Coffee enema station....

Beach cabo...

Lovers beach....

Lovers beach...

Lovers beach...

Thursday, 14 July 2011


I've been exhausted from the treatment and haven't been in the mood to write. It's 7 more days to go.
Gonna hang in here and ride out these fevers. Ill give an update after we've left.
Richard is still writing daily posts about our stay here and the different stages of the treatment

A few photos from the institute:


View from dining room...

Beach just down the road from hospital

Me and Richard..

Dr. Galindo...

Swollen Coleys arm...

Knocked out with fever...

My "Gerson" birthday cake...

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Egg shampoo and banana conditioner....

My first natural hair care experiment kind of went a bit bonkers.
I found a recipe for a shampoo though that actually worked very good:

1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 tsp honey
1 lemons juice

Mix it all up and leave in for 5 min. I only left it 1 min, cause of my lack of patience.
It managed to give my hair a real good cleanse but unfortunately the smell was a bit off. The egg gave a rather unpleasant flavor to it all.
I found banana to be one ingredient amongst others in one conditioner. Thought the banana could help with the smell. As I only had banana out of the ingredients I used one mashed banana to condition . Big mistake!
The banana was impossible to wash out. Tried brushing it out, hot water, cold water...
Worked more as a mega tangler rather than a detangler.
I broke my "no body products" promise and sent Richard out to get me the most natural looking shampoo and conditioner one can find in a mexican pharmacy.
It took 3 washes to get the banana out. Still have little traces left.
Will keep up the conditioner search and keep you posted.

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Coley's reaction...

Yesterday I had quit a heavy reaction to the coley's. I was pretty much wiped out all evening. Heavy coughing and a lot of tumor aching. I reached a 39,5° fever. The doctors and nurses get all excited and cheer when a high fever is reached and tumor pains are created. The heavy coughing is also part of the healing process. So it's all good.
Saturday we visited a resort, a tour organised by the hospital. Probably not the best place to take a bunch of Gerson patients as it was an all inclusive with beautiful barbecues and plenty of bars to enjoy a margerita.
We had a walk on the beach and observed drunk americans that came over the border to celebrate independence day.
I'm halfway through the treatment here at Chipsa. It's hard to say if theres been any positive changes as the Coley's tends to create more symptoms and pain. They also say this is a long healing process and some people wont experience tumor changes until 6-9 month after ongoing treatment.
There has also been exceptional cases where people have had total recovery within 4 weeks. Not long ago a girl my age had this quick recovery with her pancreatic cancer.
I will be continuing with the Coleys at home, 3 times a weeks.
I'm very positive and I believe with all my heart that I'm doing the right thing.
My hair is starting to stink though from the washing consisting of only water.
I will be experimenting with natural ways of washing and will keep you updated on what I find.
Iv'e seen on the net people using vinegar, lemon, chia seeds etc... I'll let you know which works best. Please let me know if you know of any good ingredients.
I have now reached 38,5° so I'm gonna head to my bed and sleep.

The pier outside Rosarito resort Tijuana, Mexico
Richard enjoying the lovely fragrance of my non toxic hair!

Saturday, 2 July 2011


I miss my baby girl incredibly much. Four more weeks to go.
I found a video clip from when she was 1,5 years old. 
She developed a shoe fetish when she was 1 year old and has been walking around in my high heels ever since.

Here she is trying on a pair of my boots!

Sugar a toxin.....

As we were traveling here to Mexico we saw a headline on the news that read "Sugar is a Toxin".To see this on the news in the US was quit cool! This was ten days ago at the terminal of Newark airport. As we were at a busy gate we couldn't really hear what they were saying. But it caught my interest as I've been reading about the dangers of sugar in cancer. Today I was googling and I found a lecture by Robert Lustig, "Sugar: The bitter truth". Lustig is a specialist on pediatric hormone disorders and the leading expert in childhood obesity at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine. This lecture will most definitely change your view on sugar.
The lecture on youtube has had 1,500,000 viewers at a rate of 50,000 viewers per month. So he must be saying something thats caught interest.  
He doesn't only mean the refined white sugar but also and mostly the high-fructose corn syrup which is used as a thickener and a sweetener in commercially-prepared foods like ketchup, bread, kellogs, fruit drinks etc.. I found a listing that shows products with high-fructose corn syrup at corn syrup list. It's a short list. But gives you an idea. He uses the terms "Toxic" and "Poison" in his lecture. There are so many products that I didn't even know contained this syrup. 
In Lustig’s view, sugar should be thought of, like cigarettes and alcohol, as something that’s killing us.
He compares a can of coca cola to a can of beer describing thoroughly the same damages they cause and how they both are just as toxic. See lecture for explanation. 
You can read an article about Robert Lustig here NY Times Article.
I also found a swedish article that refers to his lecture Svensk artikel Robert Lustig
Hes convinced me! 
After this lecture a kids birthday party with cakes, cookies, soda pops and candy doesn't seem much healthier than a big alcoholic mash up party. It's definitely made me think twice about what I'll be serving at Pella's next birthday.
He's a great speaker and has lots of interesting facts in his film.

Friday, 1 July 2011

D vitamin for children....

As I raised interest for the vitamin D issue I started to research if their are good supplements to help us through the autumn and winter as we hardly have any sunlight during those semesters in Sweden.
I found some from Thorne which are supposed to be a reliable source of vitamins and minerals.
When I continued to search for childrens supplements I stumbled upon some scaring information.
When we  have a child in sweden we are given D vitamin drops from our pediatrician to give to our children up to 2 years old. The drops we are given are from the brand Acos. They contain E320(Butylhydroxianisol-BHA). The food administration and the EU do not allow E320 as an additive in foods or food supplements for children or babies. This is because WHO:s international center for cancer research IARC believe that E320 is a potential cancer-cause. The EU also believe that E320 can cause damage to the immune system, endocrine disrupting and hyperactivity. However The L√§kemedelsverket (medical products agency)  still allow E320 in medication to children and babies including D vitamin drops. They say the doses are at Recommended Daily Intake, RDI. But how can we know for sure that these doses are not causing damage to our children. One thing I have learned is that medical product agencies will try everything to make it sound safe so they can sell more and make profit.
I found a D drop vitamin that does not contain E320,  D vitamin oil Dunmedic. They are sold in the swedish pharmacies.  A lot of people believe that certain diseases are inheritable, genetic. From my experiences these past few months I do not agree. I strongly believe we can control our health with our diet and more importantly start controlling our kids health with what we feed them. Asthma, allergies, eczema etc.... can all be cured and prevented with nutrition.
I worked as a substitute teacher for a while in 2008 for kids 7-10 years old. I was chocked at the behavior in the classroom. The lack of concentration, mood swings, loudness, tiredness etc...
I believe a diet full of sugar, wheat, conservatives, chemicals etc... can attribute to this kind of behavior.
We have a lot more adhd, diabetic, depressed and autistic kids. We also have an increasing number in cancer, arthritis, ms and other degenerative diseases. And the ages of the effected are getting low. I'm a perfect example, lung cancer at 28. So why is that we will rather read a magazine about Brad and Angelina's love problems than read and research what we put in our bodies?

Periods and Sunlight...

I've had two significant changes this week from the change of diet.
My period and my tan!
I finished my period a few days ago, it is the first one since I've been on Raw food and Gerson diet.
My period would usually last 5 days and I would bleed quit heavy the first 3 days.
This period only lasted 2 days and I bled about one tablespoon a day and no pains.
At the retreat Victoria spoke about the sun and its healing powers and how we can prevent sunburn by keeping a nutritious diet.
I've been researching a bit on the net and found some interesting articles.
The sun is the only source of vitamin D. Sufficient vitamin D can prevent cancers, osteoporosis, depression and schizophrenia. This information I found from an article by Michael Holick author of The UV advantage.
He also speaks of the hazard of using sunscreen. Using even weak sunscreens (SPF=8) block your body's ability to generate vitamin D by 95%. This is how sunscreenproducts actually cause disease by creating a critical vitamin deficiency in the body. You can find several interesting links to sunscreens if you enter the link I attached above.

"It turns out that super antioxidants greatly boost your body's ability to handle sunlight without burning. Astaxanthin is one of the most powerful "internal sunscreens" and can allow you to stay under the sun twice as long without burning. Other powerful antioxidants with this ability include the superfruits like Acai, Pomegranates (POM Wonderful juice), blueberries, etc."- Mike Adams

You can find more information on the sun and vitamin D from Mike Adams and Micheal Holicks at
I've been spending an hour or two in the sun a few days this week. And what I've noticed is a big change in tan color. Before I would burn easily when exposed to strong sunlight and my skin would go red. This week I haven't burned and I have a golden brown tan.

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Coley's + The menu....

I've reached a 38°c fever today, supercool!!!, as this means the Coleys is working on me.
You can read about the coleys vaccine at:

I've been writing in earlier posts about raw food and its benefits. The Gerson diet consists of some cooked food. What they both have in common Raw food and Gerson diet are the importance of nutrients in greens. In the Gerson diet green juices are served by the hour. A typical menu for the day would be:

Every hour:   A fresh juice consisting of either carrot or fresh green leaves. These are a fundamental part of the treatment as the juices give nourishment to the body all through the day.
Breakfast:    Oatmeal porridge, banana, prune, apricot,raisins, fresh orange juice and some herbal tea.
Lunch:          Salad, vegetable soup, boiled or oven cooked potato with steamed vegetables, fruit, brewers yeast, flaxseed oil, apple cider vinegar,fresh garlic and green juice.
Dinner:        Salad, vegetable soup, brown rice with steamed vegetables, fruit, flaxseed oil, apple cider vinegar, fresh garlic and carrot juice.

There are supplements added to the diet and I'm doing 5 coffee enemas a day.
You can read more about the Gerson diet at:
We had some cookies after dinner that were made of oatmeal, banana, flaxseed oil and tiny bit of honey. Might not sound too exciting to you but for me that has been on raw food diet prior to coming here its a real treat.
The food has been really lovely. Although when I get home I will be doing more raw food as I feel it will be more beneficial for me.
Comically enough we have cars driving around the area constantly with megaphones attached to their bonnet shouting out all kinds of foods for sale. Tacos, ice cream etc....  We haven't fallen for the temptation yet.
I mentioned earlier how I've stopped using hair & skincare products, only wash with water. One thing I have been doing which has given really good results is a aloe vera and avocado facial mask, plantain is usually added but I can't find it here. The aloe vera grows everywhere here so it's easy to get hold of. The mixture kind of looks like a big lump of snot and you end up looking like shrek once you've applied. Added a little pic of me covered in "snot". Skin feels wicked after rinsing it off. I also use the aloe vera as a sun lotion. Works perfect. We used it the other day. I had it allover didn't get burnt. Richard did his face but forgot his legs. His face was fine but his legs burnt. Kinda proves that it worked.


On the day of arrival I had a blood test taken to determine the state of my biochemical levels.
All my values were in the normal range. I've never had such good results. I was very happy to hear this as I've been hearing from some concerned friends- "Are you really getting all your nutrition in those green smoothies?"
The one that has raised most questions is protein. I havn't been eating meat, soy products, legumes or protein supplements. Only greens and fruit.
Normal range is 6 - 8.5 g/dl  my total protein was 6.9 g/dl.
You can read about the proteins in greens in Victoria Boutenkos article at:

All in all Dr Alejandro Mora was very happy with my results.
He was pleased to see that we have a strong body to work with.
He also mentioned keeping a positive mind and visualizing the healing as we work.
Yesterday as I had my Coleys shot I visualized a whole army of special trained soldiers being sent in by helicopters through my shot to fight my tumors. Big hunky american marines!
I've also been listening to "Deva Premal" whilst imaging healing sunshine filling my entire my whole body.
Yes, sounds very hippie flippy, doesn't it? But it actually feels good.
In a situation like this I'm ready to try anything. If someone tells me I'll feel better from standing on one foot singing mongolian mantras all day, I'll give it a try.

Sunday, 26 June 2011


3 days ago me and my partner Richard arrived to the Chipsa medical institute, tijuana, Mexico.
In these 3 days I have had more information and understanding of my disease than I have had during 7 years of conventional doctors visits due to cancer. 5 years with my mothers pancreatic cancer and 2 years with my lung cancer.
At home no doctor has ever been able to explain to me the cause of this illness and neither has anyone had any good toxic free alternatives of healing me. Even the toxic medicines they have suggested me have no guarantee of curing me. 
I chose to go the conventional way the first time I was diagnosed.
My daughter was 3 months old at the time and my mother was very ill from her pancreatic cancer.
I was very scared and not having enough information on alternative treatments I was not ready to go that way. 
My whole life I've grown up to believe that doctors are up there with lawyers, presidents, gods. They're these people that know more than us "normal" people. They look after us and protect us. 
I learned pretty quickly from experience that all of these mentioned are just normal people like the rest of us. Something I learned quickly with conventional care is that nobody has time for you. I have had to fight my way to get appointments to all kind of doctors.
But back then I chose to put my life in the hands of conventional medicine. Chemo and radiation.
I also went through a few minor surgeries to take samples of my tumor.
The chemo was tough and made me weak. But the most challenging turned out to be the radiation. To get to the tumor they had to radiate over  my gullet(esophagus). After two weeks of radiating my gullet was one big open sore and I had difficulties swallowing without pain. To deal with this pain I was put on very high doses of morphine. I was not aware at the time that morphine is an opiate drug. I was on morphine for about 3 months. Then came my 3 month come down as I started to reduce the doses to finally be off the drug. This was the worst time of all the treatment Id been through. 
The hardest part was that we had no information on what was to happen. It all started with a big depression. I was very paranoid. I cried constantly, didn't want to get out of bed and had no will for anything. We called the hospital about this and I was sent to a psycho specialist. After half hours talk she suggested I start taking anti depression medication. I mentioned having similar feelings after taking cocaine and extacy in my earlier years. The same come down feeling. This is when she explained that this could be possible as morphine is an opiate. No one had given me this information. She still adviced me to take the pills.
I knew deep in me that Im not a depressed person and I had no will to start taking some pills that  would possibly change my moods and persona. When I knew it was an opiate I decided to try and ride out the comedown trip. It was the most horrid thing I have experienced. For 3 months I was cold, shaking, screaming, crying, not being able to sleep, not eating, sweating etc... The only relief I found was to lie in the bath. So I spent most days in the bath tub. When I finally got through this I was so grateful to have experienced this as I no longer had fear of dying cause nothing could be as bad as that experience was even dying had to be better.
As soon as I got better me and my partner, Richard, took the car and went on a road trip through europe.
It was april and as I had been so cold for so long I was desperate to see the sun. 
I was feeling much better and slowly I started to get my daily routines back such as eating, sleeping and toilet visits.
My next scan showed that the treatment had halved the size of tumor and that there was no activity.
This was brilliant news and shortly after I started to live "normally". 
In september 2010 I started a makeup artist course and by november I had work.
February I started my company and was doing makeup for advertisement, tv, fashion and theatre.
End of May 2011 I had the bad news that my cancer was back and had spread to 4 different areas. I had activity in both lungs, spine(skeleton) and in the ovarian. 
I was off course devastated and to be honest I don't remember much of what the doctor said as I was in such chock. First thing I did was go and get my daughter out of kindergarden and take her to the Pippi Longstocking house in stockholm. Its Pellas, my daughter, favorite place.
I watched her play and I decided Im not going anywhere. Im fighting this fucker and Ill do anything it takes!
Next day I told myself: no tears, no self pitty, no negative thoughts.
I had a surgery scheduled in for the following week. After my experience with conventional medicine I had no will to start that trip allover again. I truly believed that there must be another way. A more natural way. I started googling about all kinds of alternative treatments and first thing I found was a Raw food retreat in sweden starting the following week. I saw this as a sign and signed up for it at once. I rescheduled my surgery for after the retreat. As I continued googling I also found Chipsa medical institute in Tijuana Mexico. I called them and after having spoken to one of their doctors for over an hour I was convinced this was for me. They practice the Gerson therapy and use Coleys vaccine. I researched about it the following two days and found nothing but positive information and loads of testimonials where people had survived all kinds of cancers. So I scheduled to fly out after my raw food retreat and I cancelled all appointments with my doctors at home.
I immediately felt so happy and relived. I knew I was on the right track.
6th of June I arrived to Mundekulla in småland, sweden, to join the Joy for life retreat by Victoria Boutenko.
Here I was introduced to the green smoothies that have changed my life to the positive!
Victoria Boutenko Is an amazing woman who has dedicated her life to researching health. She has so much amazing information. I learnt so much about food in that week and for the first time I was taught it in a way that it made sense. After that week I finally understood why we humans get ill, deficiencies!
Lack of nutrition. It all makes perfect sense. Low nutrition- weakened immune system-illness.
To some degree a already knew this but I never knew what nutrition and where I could get this nutrition. Before I would read somewhere c vitamins are good and then Id go and buy c vitamin pills instead of finding this vitamin in my food.
I also never thought that diseases could so easily be healed only by changing your diet and detoxing.
We have created so many new diseases from our toxic "white mans" diet.
You can see a significant change in the classrooms. Alot more kids with adhd, autism, glasses, overweight problems, exsema, dental problems etc...
At the retreat I experienced from me and other people things that now prove to me that with the right diet and detox we can prevent and heal from pretty much any disease.
It's crazy how we've become so used to all the toxins that we feed our bodies,we have so hard to go back to natures natural diet.
So many people are hooked on the commercialised products that we get told are delicious and natural in their advertisement. Coca cola, snickers, hot dogs, alcohol, etc....
After all Ive learned I see no difference in giving a child a big candyfloss or giving her a puff on a cigarette. Sugar is a toxic and yet we feed our kids with it to make them happy.
We also give our kids vaccine without really researching. Once again we trust our doctors. Ive now research the topic and I will never give Pella a vaccine again. I would rather concentrate on keeping her immune system on top so she cant catch these diseases. 
I strongly recommend you to read Victorias book- Greens for life. Its a real eyeopener on nutrition. And its easy to read. And once you start reading you get information to so many other sources of great information.
We were a group of 20 that had joined the retreat.  
The menu for the week was raw food smoothies all day. Smoothies containing fruits and greens.
We also were introduced to coffee enemas. The coffee stimulates the liver and helps remove toxins in the body.  Already after 2 days of our detox many of us were having amazing results.  For me my vision had improved, rasp in my breathing had disappeared, I was sleeping less and feeling much more awake.
I decided to do a radical change as I was seeing such amazing progress. I stopped shampoo/conditioner, lotions, soaps, fluoride toothpaste etc... All I did was wash with water. Just after a few days my skin felt the best it has ever felt. I have always been a big consumer of expensive creams and I've always preached  to others how they need to use good quality lotions. I used to feel dry all the time before and was always putting lotions on. Now my skin is moist and fresh looking from only water and nutriton. The best its ever been. Another thing I discovered the other day is that after have changed my diet I no longer get hairs on my neck. I used to have at least 20 black hairs that would grow frequently on my neck. I kept plucking them for years. I plucked them just before the retreat, usually they grow out within a couple of days. I havnt seen them since, and its been a month.
Other people were having heavy detox symptoms the first few days. Vomiting, headaches, rashes, etc... After 4-5 days they were feeling as vibrant as I was. One woman that had very bad arthritis even said she could move her hand a bit more than usual.
After the week I felt amazing. I came home and I was ecstatic. During the course Victoria had also mentioned the Gerson therapy and had at one point said that its the best treatment. So now I felt even more sure of that I was on the right track.
At home I drove my boyfriend and my father crazy with all the info I was trying to pass on to them. Don't eat that! Don't do that! That will give you this or that disease etc etc.... 
I think they thought id been to a cult for a week. 
Richard has been amazing through all this and extremely patient.
Witnessing my positive changes in health he has become more interested and after research on his own he now shares my interest in nutrition.
Here at the institute he is on the same diet as me and he will even be doing enemas whilst here to detox.
Im looking forward to seeing how they will effect him.
Friday i had a Coleys shot which is a vaccine of killed bacteria that works to create inflammation in the body. Creating a fever to get your immune system to fight the tumors. You can find better explanations if you google it.
They start with a small doses. After a few hours I felt a bit cold and felt tired. I had a few shakes as I went to bed and felt pains on the side of my chests.
They explained that all pains are good as this means that the Coleys is doing its work.
Morning after I felt perfectly fine.
Today the sunshine is out and were gonna head off for a walk down to the beach soon.
I am so happy to be here and I am so proud of myself that I had the guts to go against doctors/societies advice and follow my common sense and intuition.
I truly believe once you seek you shall find!
I followed the signs that were handed to me and here I am ready to begin the most adventurous journey of my life!